Absence... Fonder. Cha?!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Sure, I understand. But the emotional turmoil that results from the absence is completely washed over and the gravity of the situation never acknowledged. It is a painful journey. The heart screams in agony. The mind wanders, splintered by the distance. A piece of the soul... mind... feeling are gone. Until the rejoining of the missing part.

Sure, some never miss a beat when separated. I think they are soulless, emotionless fools. Taking too many things for granted. Never appreciating their assets and relationships. If lost, will they notice? Will they care?

Even though I've only begun this cycle in my life, I find myself more than ever loving my wife. Realizing an awful lot about the intricacies of our relationship. So every time we reunite, my soul fills and my mind solidifies. My feelings become true. Until time once again rips us apart and once again, we are only part of ourselves.

The change has me also finding the reactionary difference between stress and depression. I know when I get stressed out, I don't eat much as I try to work through the tasks. But this cycle has me depressed a bit. And what I found is the opposite reaction... I eat. And I lose motivation. So I lose muscle and I gain fat. Sad but true. So I've finally rigged the road bike onto the trainer so I can do some spinning. Unfortunately though, where exercise normally blows off stress, depression it does not. This is all about pure will power but my mind has to override the heart for the betterment of the body. I would try to commute to work, but what I've noticed is that the white lines on the way to work are where the asphalt ends and the gravel begins. A bit more dangerous than I want to really want to attempt.